i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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