well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
