google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Well I just put wine in my tea
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
