everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
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