my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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