Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
