This is not my ceiling
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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