Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
We need a shit load of segways right now
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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