I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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