Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
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