if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
