I don't think brook has ever known best
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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