I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize