i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
