dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
