Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
