My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
