Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
