there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I would ride that face into the sunset
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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