Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
