we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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