respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
