can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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