it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
