So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize