On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
