you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
