I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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