I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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