You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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