if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
