You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
