HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
