Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize