You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
