I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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