I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
