Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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