I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
