There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize
