bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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