therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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