Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
