Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
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