People in love make me want to vomit
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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