hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
