no. you can't hotbox the world.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
