My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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