what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
