Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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