Writing my paper on freud at bar
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Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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