We're facebook friends in real life
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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