Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
