Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
