sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
