dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
