Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Randomize
